you dont sound drunk, in fact at your age i doubt you drink at all.
Also you were alone with a friend, drinking, you made GAY calls, you were very gay, are you sure something isnt going on here lynx?
just because no girl will come within 50 ft of you, (except the fake ones you find pics of online) doesnt make taken a dog. She comes with me because she LIKES me, a concept i wouldn't expect you to understand and i come with her also.
We watch porn together because we've developed a sex drive already, another concept i wouldnt expect you to understand.
oh and the phone call, you dont sound drunk, i dont hear anyone else laughing, there was no "prank" involved, and you sound genuinly pissed off.
In fact id bet a tenner that you were sitting at home crying one night and you figured, i know ill get fizzy back with my incredibly intimidating voice! MWUAHAHAHhahahahahahh